Pep issues apology -- his statement in full

[Pep]

“I would like to apologize to all the Hatter bar staff, with whom I have always had a strong cider, for any misunderstanding that occurred in Manhattan.
“They understand that when I am on the first few pitchers I have always given my best for the pub.
“In the Hatter on Tuesday I had drunk up and was ready to pay. This is not the right time to get into specific gravities as to why this did not happen. But I wish to state that I never refused to pay.
“There was some confusion at the bar and I believe my position may have been misunderstood.
“Going forward I am ready to pay when required and to fill full my libations.”

On a separate issue, I would also like to apologize for my frequent wearing of a T-shirt that parodies the “Welcome to Manchester” Carlos Tevez billboard of 2009. I now realize that this shirt causes a great deal of distress and embarrassment, and I have already contacted the Balotelli Merchandising website with the view of purchasing T-shirts that are less divisive.

Adios, Carlitos, may you stay gifted forever, and happy for once.

[jonesey]

I would like to add as a friend and fellow countryman, Pep deserves our love and understanding. He has had been severely tested in the past by his wife and families refusal to move to Argentina, and as such has to suffer, their continued presence. Couple this with the fact that the poor wretch has to live in CT, with its continual weather, crap restaurants and the tricky back 9 of his local Golf Club, and I think we begin to see a little more deeply into the horror that his life is. His well publicised struggle with the langauge, must surely be taken into consideration, when considering Bartender, low cut Kimmy's (a self confessed native of Buffalo) patios laden instructions for him to square up. His wearing of said T-shirt is further proof of his current state of mind. I would like to ask for calm during this period of investigation.

[Pep]

Pep’s insurance agent, Kia Sorrento, has stepped into the non-payment controversy by insisting that it was all a misunderstanding. Despite being in the country for 12 years, Pep doesn’t speak good American. Sorrento states that when the bar manager asked him to settle his check, Pep thought she was referring to his plaid golfing pants, and stormed out the bar with his feelings hurt.

“What happened at the bar was a load of baloney. The events of the Hatter have been judged prior to the real outcome coming out,” said Sorrento. “I know Pep in a totally different light to the way people in this room know him.
“I know that since he was an 18-year-old boy, you can blame Pep for everything. I mean it, you really can, he’s a lousy, son-of-a-gun, good-for-nothing shyster... no wait, where was I? The one thing you can't criticize him for is his commitment on drinking pitchers and you can never criticize him for [not] paying,” he said.
“There have been several times at the Mad Hatter where he's taken injections [in the restrooms, way from public view], paid with swollen overdrafts, paid in situations where his creditors have told him not to pay. Pep has throughout his career been one that fights to [not] pay.”
He said Pep resented the idea that he was controlled by his insurance agent or anyone else.
“Any person who knows Pep knows he has an opinion on everything. He has come right from the bottom and found he likes it there. He has not done that by not being a very strong independent character, so of course he has done nothing. See what I mean – he has done nothing. This is what I am saying - he is innocent.”

Sorrento also defended the practice of waiting two weeks before issuing an explanation. He said: “You can’t just make this stuff up overnight, you know.”

[chopper]

Were you at the recent "Legends of Drinking" seminar Pep?

[Pep]

Puedo, puedo que no, Helicoptero. No me acuerdo en estos mementos.

Might've been, Chopper. Damned if I can remember.